Theme
In the power to change oneself, is the same power to support life collectively on this planet!
Life Coaching
Life coaching can be more specifically defined as helping people discover, expand and fully utilize their inner resources to manifest a fulfilling and holistic life
Relationship matters
Rapport is the word used in NLP to describe a relationship of trust and mutual influence and is the basis of all successful communication. Rapport comes first from acknowledging a person. In NLP, this is known as pacing. The general principle of pacing is first to acknowledge the other, to understand and enter their reality, rather than demand they understand and enter yours.
On personal level, it is the ability to give the acknowledgement that each of us needs. You build a bridge towards understanding. The principle of pacing and leading works at every level: your people, your peers, customers, organization and the market you are in. Once you have paced, you can lead to something different; you have a relationship of mutual influence.
Is influencing manipulating?
Influencing is not manipulating, it is a natural consequence of human interaction and wholly compatible with acting with integrity. People do not like to feel manipulated, but they are open to being influenced. Our professional success and our personal happiness depend largely on just how good we are at influencing others.
The best managers are not just technically competent, but good with people as well. They recognize how important it is that people feel acknowledge and address this fact in the way they behave.
When a person feels acknowledged by you, they are quite likely to become a goodwill ambassador on your behalf. And as every advertising agency knows, there is no better form of publicity than an unsolicited endorsement from a disinterested third party.
You pace your customers and people by finding out what they want – their beliefs, values and life experiences that make up their world and then matching them. These can be effect through your gestures, physiology, facial expressions, actions, tonality and your words.
Leading – Influence
Once you are pacing, then you can think about the second element- leading.
Leading is the ability to influence. Sometimes, it is only a matter of pointing out the goals towards which you want to be heading. More often though it involves helping people to change their point of view, or anything else which is inhibiting their ability to allow you to do your job. Most people make the mistake of trying to lead before they have paced, of putting the cart before the horse.
The strategy for successful people management is:
Pace, pace, pace …. Lead
Pace yourself first
Pacing and leading are the basic principles for influencing and managing people from different angles – organizational and personal, with self and others.
Where to start? We suggest by pacing yourself first. Acknowledge your own strengths, and where you need to learn. Know the conditions when you are at your best and when you are not. Respect your limits, your health and your degree of influence. Start from where you are at, only then you can lead yourself to where you want to be.
Credits:
Excellence in Communication – Using the NLP Approach, by Ian McDermott and Joseph O’Connor
The learning is in the doing! You can master the art of pacing and leading through our 12 days NLP Practitioner Certification training.
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Posted in Neuro Linguistics Programming by .
Feb 12
23
Lessons from “The Billionaire” movie
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. ~ G.B. Shaw, Mrs Warren’s Profession, 1893
At 16 years old – He was hooked on games
At 17 years old – He dropped out of school to be a nut peddler
At 18 years old – His family went bankrupt – debts of 40 million Baht
At 19 years old – He created the seaweed snacks “Tao Kae Noi” and are sold in 3,000 7-Elevens across Thailand
This is a movie based on true story of an entrepreneur, Top Ittipat – owner of seaweed snacks “Tao Kae Noi.” Currently at 26, he earns 800 million Baht per year and employs 2,000 staff.
In the movie, Top did not start off knowing everything about business. However, he was keen to gather feedback, make use of what he has leant and refine his approach accordingly.
At each roadblock, he squeezed out every hope and alternative he had, even though people he met tried to prove him wrong or close all doors of opportunities on him.
He was open to possibilities and worked towards his dream, despite going against mainstream conventions.
He knew what he was going to achieve mattered a lot to him and his family.
His story reminds us a great lesson from Thomas A. Edison: “I have not failed; I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work!”
Analogous to NLP, there is an empowering belief that goes: “There is no failure, only feedback!”
Are we giving up too early and allow our setbacks to reinforce our limiting beliefs?
Perhaps what is truly holding us back from fulfilling our life’s aspirations, vision and purpose, are our fears and doubts. Only a few have realized that the big breakthrough comes from one’s capacity to embrace the unknown.
We may be put down by our circumstances, but it is how we choose to respond to them that makes a difference!
Please be encouraged to watch this movie if you have not and feel free to share your thoughts.
Leverage on NLP to empower you with the supportive resources to manifest what you want in life. Click here to understand more about NLP course
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Posted in Modelling Excellence by .
By Alfred Chung
How can you design your personal and professional life’s path towards excellent performance, empowering relationships and win-win outcomes?
Consider this: in everything that we do, there are always three factors to consider – task, information and relationship. Let’s look at each of them and see how they affect our performance.
Information Is King?
In this era of information explosion, more of it does not necessarily lead to excellence in a performance situation.
The key to excellence is to know what information is essential and what is unnecessary.
How then do you know what information to look out for & to use them wisely in a way that maximizes results?
- What message do you want to convey with the information?
Understanding the value of the information and the key message that you want to deliver with it, enable you to filter distractions and get to the crux of the matter.
- How do you present your information that speaks to your audience?
Rather than simply saying what you wish, expressing your message in a way people can relate to will increase your level of influence. Once the connection is built, leading them towards a win-win outcome becomes easier.
What About The People?
You may have the best information, but without the right people, you won’t get things done.
What do you understand about the people around you?
What are the factors necessary in keeping open communication between people?
The ability to create empowering relationships with others will make a difference in influencing people towards a win-win outcome.
On top of that, relationships are not simply with others, but also with one own self. All relationships begin with managing ourselves – mentally, emotionally and physically.
What Else Is Missing?
You may realize that even with all the above, most of the time, we still do not get what we want.
Other than information and relationship, one needs to be clear about the task at hand.
Ask yourself, what are the steps and strategies required for making progress?
What needs to happen eventually to let you know you have achieved what you set out to do?
Not knowing the answers to these 2 questions will set you back in accomplishing your desired goals.
So essentially, know what needs to be done, have an action plan, and execute it and see it through.
Balance = Effortless Power
Some of us are adept task doers, getting things done, but struggle when dealing with people.
Some are all about relationships, they see to people’s needs and take care of people. But they struggle when it boils down to getting things done.
Whereas others are great information databases, but rarely apply their knowledge appropriately in decisions and action.
Striking a balance among task, information & relationship gives us a more holistic understanding of any life situation we are in, and allows us flexibility in any goal we are progressing towards. We are able to leverage on more possibilities and choices, make more informed decisions, and take action in the most efficient and ecological manner.
In NLP, you will learn how to manage task, information and relationships individually, and balance all three to lead yourself and others towards desired outcomes.
CLICK HERE to subscribe to our NLP E-Preview to learn more
(This article was inspired by one of our past graduates, Joseph Ch’ng. Stay connected with him through his blog Winner Dynamics here.)
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Posted in Life Coaching by .
In Mind - Keeping you in Mind
